EDWARD CLEAVES
Hello
I live in Seattle, Washington. I just finished my first book – Kind Soul, Closet Maniac: A Memoir. It's a story of a man overcoming what seems like insurmountable odds and never giving up hope for a better tomorrow. I spend my days writing, making my friends laugh, and riding the ferries around Puget Sound and the beautiful Pacific Northwest.
My Story
My memoir, Kind Soul, Closet Maniac, is about a scared white kid growing up in abject poverty in the ghetto of Roxbury, Massachusetts. Raised by “blackout” alcoholic parents. Trying to navigate the violence, fear, and child abuse put upon me and my siblings by abusive, malicious people. Finally escaping that situation only due to the house burning down and killing my mother. I went to live with a sibling in an all-white neighborhood but the violence at home was the same.
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I escaped it all at around 16 and tried to navigate life completely through trial and error. Coming to terms with being gay and figuring out how to “come out.” To myself and to the people in my life. Trying to come to terms with my addiction to alcohol and doing everything I could to not repeat the cycle of violence and substance abuse I witnessed and suffered as a child.
Finding true love and having it stolen away by cancer, I lost my battle to stay sober, and once again crashed down. A cycle that repeats itself to this day. The peaks and valleys I experience in my life are supplied by an indomitable will that keeps me moving forward. Farther and faster away from a horrible beginning. And trying to fight against my addiction to alcohol that keeps me crashing. Time after time. There are many funny moments that come through.
I never give up hope for a better tomorrow. I try to work my way through the anger I feel about my childhood. No, the rage I feel. Most of my struggle is to never become what I witnessed and was put upon me as a child. I fight against becoming the Closet Maniac. Is it too late?
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At the end of it all, this is a tale of a kid trying to escape a horrible past and navigate an uncertain future. All the while never giving up, and eventually coming to terms with life. Ever vigilant and ever hopeful.
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This is my life's story.
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